Menopause. The word can send shivers down the spine, especially when we think of what it represents: hot flashes, unpredictable moods, weight changes, and yes, the loss of libido. It's often said that when a woman reaches menopause, the excitement of love-making is something of the past.
But here’s the truth: it's not all downhill.
This Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about how to rediscover that spark in your body, no matter what stage of Menopause you're in. It’s not about getting your mojo back in the traditional sense; it’s about understanding what you’re up against, giving your body the attention and care it deserves, and finding new ways to experience intimacy.
And the best part? There’s no shame in it.
What’s Going On in Your Body?
Menopause is a journey, and it’s different for every woman. The primary cause of the change is the decrease in oestrogen production as the ovaries begin to slow down. This can cause a variety of symptoms that directly affect your sex life, including:
Vaginal dryness: Less oestrogen means less lubrication, which can lead to discomfort during intercourse.
Libido shifts: Hormonal changes can lead to a reduction in sexual desire or an increase in feelings of indifference about sex. Just can’t be arsed?
Mood swings and anxiety: The hormonal rollercoaster can create emotional upheaval, making it harder to relax or feel confident in the bedroom.
Sleep disruptions: Hot flashes, night sweats, and insomnia can leave you feeling drained and less interested in physical connection.
But here’s the thing: all of these changes don’t mean you have to abandon your desire to be intimate. They just mean that your body requires a different approach.
Embracing the New You
While it may seem like a challenge to rekindle your libido, it’s entirely possible to nurture and transform your experience of lovemaking during menopause.
Here’s how:
Talk About It (Yes, Really)
It’s essential to communicate with your partner about what’s going on with your body. You’re not the first woman to go through menopause, and you won’t be the last. Opening up can help you both adjust to the changes, with a focus on what feels good now. Remember, intimacy isn’t just about sex—it’s about emotional connection, too.
Explore Different Forms of Intimacy
Love-making doesn’t have to look the same as it once did. Try out new ways to connect with your partner, whether that means long, lingering massages, exploring different forms of touch, or embracing sensual activities that don't necessarily lead to sex. Being playful and creative can bring a fresh sense of intimacy to the relationship.
Prioritise Your Health
Physical health plays a crucial role in sexual health. Keep active with regular exercise, including pelvic floor exercises, which can strengthen the muscles that support sexual pleasure. Eat a balanced diet rich in vitamins and minerals that support hormone balance. Focus on hydration and reducing stress. When your body feels better, your mind is more likely to follow suit.
Moisture is Your Friend
For vaginal dryness, there are plenty of products to help restore comfort during sex. Lubricants (preferably those that are hormone-free and designed for menopause) can provide relief. Some women also use vaginal moisturisers for long-term comfort. Don't be afraid to experiment with what feels right for you.
Mindfulness and Stress Reduction
Managing stress is crucial during menopause. Mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing or meditation, can help you stay grounded. When you’re relaxed, you’re more likely to feel aroused and open to intimacy. Practice self-care and take moments to focus on your well-being without guilt or pressure.
Hormonal Therapy or Alternatives
For some women, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or non-hormonal treatments can help restore balance. Speak with your healthcare provider about what might be right for you. There are also herbal remedies and supplements available that claim to help with libido and dryness—just make sure to do your research and consult with a doctor first.
Self-Love: Pleasure is Yours Too
Menopause is a time for re-discovery, and that includes discovering what pleasures you. Masturbation is a healthy and empowering way to understand your body’s new rhythms. Explore what makes you feel good without pressure or expectation. Your desires haven’t gone anywhere—they may just need to be rediscovered and maybe re-awoken!
Reclaiming Your Sexuality
Menopause might change the way your body responds to intimacy, but it doesn’t have to take away your desire for connection, pleasure, and passion. There is no right way to experience love-making during this time. What matters is what feels good for you, whether that means embracing your body’s new rhythms or taking the time to reconnect with your partner in ways that feel fresh and exciting.
So, this Valentine’s Day, instead of seeing menopause as something that diminishes your sexuality, see it as a natural part of your journey—a chapter that can be filled with connection, joy, and new forms of intimacy. You're still the vibrant, sexual being you’ve always been—it's just time to redefine what that looks like in this phase of life.
Tips for Boosting Your Libido During Menopause:
Don’t skip foreplay: Take your time and enjoy the build-up. Foreplay isn’t just physical—it’s emotional too.
Create a relaxing environment: Reduce distractions, light some candles, and set the mood with music that makes you feel comfortable and sexy.
Consider aromatherapy: Certain scents, like lavender, sandalwood, and jasmine, are believed to enhance relaxation and libido.
Menopause doesn’t signal the end of your sexual journey; it simply marks a new beginning, one where you can explore, adjust, and embrace intimacy in a way that feels right for you. Love-making during menopause can still be fun, passionate, and meaningful—and you deserve to feel it.
Happy Valentines Day x
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